


i can't help but want

by aknightley



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Panic Attacks, Season 1 Spoilers, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-04
Updated: 2016-09-04
Packaged: 2018-08-13 01:54:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7957831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aknightley/pseuds/aknightley
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lance deals with the aftermath of being sucked into a black hole and stranded on an alien planet.</p><p>  <em>When Lance wakes up, all he can see is blue. </em></p>
            </blockquote>





	i can't help but want

**Author's Note:**

> This took me way, way longer than I expected, but I think I love this fic a lot more than I planned to as well. It's longer than anything I've written in a while, and it's kind of rambly and weird in places, but I set out to do a Lance POV and I like the way it turned out. 
> 
> This fic is dedicated to [Chase](http://kantr.tumblr.com), for letting me vent at him and complain and helping me with so many aspects of this. You are my soft son forever and always. :3c
> 
> Title comes from Ruelle's "War of Hearts."
> 
> ETA: Now featuring amazing artwork by [baconator4ever!](http://baconator4ever.tumblr.com) You can see it [here](http://baconator4ever.tumblr.com/post/149998219849/yall-gotta-go-read-apvrrish-new-fic-i-cant-help) and MORE ART [here!](http://baconator4ever.tumblr.com/post/150127042959/keith-falls-asleep-not-long-after-that-breath) Please reblog and like!
> 
> ETA2: Now with art from the amazing [SVEN!](http://legendarydesvender.tumblr.com%22) You can find it [HERE,](http://legendarydesvender.tumblr.com/post/152533380159) please go like and reblog it!

When Lance wakes up, all he can see is blue. 

For a disorienting moment, he's terrified that he's drowning, but when his mouth opens on reflex he sucks in a huge gulp of air, and then realizes he's still wearing his helmet. He grabs his head, remembering what happened in bits and pieces -- a portal, flashes of terrible lights and being pulled out of the hangar -- and he realizes his helmet is sealed shut, closing his body off from the exposed air. Lance squeezes his eyes closed, willing himself to calm down and take stock of the situation. _Calm, calm, calm_. 

He takes a deep breath and opens his eyes again. His helmet, his suit, they're okay; he's in Blue's cockpit, which explains the blue lighting, but something is wrong still. Blue is a faint presence in his mind, unable to offer him any explanation at the moment, but at least she's there. 

He's on the ground, splayed out next to the pilot's chair, and when he scrambles up again, he realizes that the blue is coming from the screen as well as the lights, which is displaying the outside of the lion. 

It's water. 

As far as he can see, just blue, blue water, no plants or rocks. Vast, unending water, a tranquil color that still leaves him breathless with fear. Blue must be resting on something, because they aren't still falling, but he can't even see the floor of whatever ocean he's landed in. There's no gradient of color that he can see, no way of telling if there's light above him or how close they might be to the surface. 

Lance's breath quickens, close to hyperventilating, but Blue touches his mind gently and he makes himself relax again, deliberating breathing slowly once, twice. It's fine, they're fine. So they got separated from everyone else for a minute. Lance can handle this -- he can handle anything. He's the Blue Paladin. Defender of the universe. He's got this. 

He tries to hold onto that thought as he settles into the chair, flexing his hands at the controls.

"Blue?" he asks out loud, even though he knows he could just project to her. It's comforting, somehow, to hear his own voice -- everything is so still, so quiet down here, especially since his last memories are of battle. The currents of water swirling outside are the only thing that lets him know it's not just a still image of a blue screen. "You ready to get out of here?"

Blue makes an agreeable noise, and when Lance nudges the controls, she obligingly shifts -- but everything feels _wrong,_ to both of them. Her alarm rings through him, a trill of shock, and he makes a soothing noise unconsciously, eyes flicking to the gauges and output screens. It's in Altean, and he can't tell what exactly is wrong, but he can see the flashing lights indicating that her flight is disabled, and that communications are definitely down. Lance feels his stomach drop, ice creeping into his veins. 

He touches his helmet, realizing for the first time that he can't feel the faint hum that means a connection is open. "Hello?" he calls, but nothing happens. No one responds. Lance's pulse picks up, his fingers tensing into fists as he realizes that he is actually alone.

He's _alone._

Blue rumbles again, forestalling another panic, pulling herself up to her feet. Lance checks the control panel, but her regular motion seems to be uninhibited, which is a small blessing. The idea of being stuck at the bottom of an ocean is something he does not want to think about. He checks her radar, which seems to still be working, if a little bit fuzzy onscreen. There appears to be a land mass behind them, or at least a shallower area of the ocean. As good a place to start to plan as any, he thinks.

Blue turns in place, head spinning and dipping, and Lance can finally see at her feet that the bottom of the ocean is dark, dark gray, what looks like rocks instead of sand. There are small, sparse plants pocketed here and there, little tufts of orange and red that break up the monotony, but everything else is just blue and gray. He projects a thought at Blue, and she obligingly tilts her head up so he can see the surface -- and yes, it's bright with some sort of light, thank fuck. Lance lets out a heavy breath, slumping in his seat. Logically, he'd known they couldn't be _that_ deep, because it wasn't pitch black outside, but he's relieved nonetheless to see evidence that he's not trapped under miles and miles of water. If what's outside even is water, he realizes. He wonders if the reason his suit sealed itself is that the atmosphere on this planet isn't safe for him. 

Blue trudges along in the path he shows her, each step taking what feels like forever. It's hard for Lance to not compare it to the first time he'd flown her, how they'd bounded wildly throughout the desert, hearts racing together, feeling that instant, unmistakable bond. Blue purrs at him comfortingly, and he answers in kind, feeling warmed despite the worry still lurking at the back of his mind. He's not alone after all, he thinks, stroking a hand over the control sticks. He and Blue will just have to look after each other.

It's further than it looks on the small screen -- it takes them about an hour to finally feel the incline of the ground sloping towards the surface. Lance has kept up a steady stream of small talk at Blue, keeping an eye on her readouts and the communications relay, hoping that the closer they get to the surface, the better chance they'll have of reaching someone. So far everything is unchanged, but at least Blue seems to be keeping a steady pace as well. 

There are more and more of the same plants here, and once Lance catches a flash of something bright yellow out of the corner of his eye, but when Blue looks towards it, there's nothing there. Lance nervously considers the idea of ocean animal life, trying not to think of everything prehistoric that lived in the water that he learned about in school. Blue catches a glimpse of his mind and snorts out a laugh at him.

"Hey," he says indignantly, "It's not my tail that'll get chewed if something comes after us."

He's not entirely sure, but he thinks Blue picks up the pace a little.

Finally cresting out of the water almost makes Lance cry with relief. The land mass they find themselves on is similar to the ocean floor, except the rocks look smaller, more finely matched. They don't look jagged, but rather like millions of small pebbles. In front of him, there's a lush forest of bright green and red foliage, tall tree-like plants and spiky looking bushes. Blue looks behind herself, and Lance can see nothing but the ocean -- miles and miles and miles of ocean. 

"Okay, Blue," Lance says, trying to sound confident, "We're on a deserted island on a random planet in a random galaxy with no way of contacting the others. No problem."

If Blue had eyes to roll, he's pretty sure she would. As it is, she settles for arranging her limbs on the beach and slumping down, tilting her head in an obvious meaning. 

"You want me to go out there? What if it's not safe?" Lance asks, and then thinks, ruefully, that he hasn't really, truly been safe since they left the Garrison. Blue pushes at him gently, pulling his chair away from the control panel and along the track. He sighs and stands up, touching a hand to his helmet. A screen pulls up with atmosphere readings -- thankfully, all of Blue's and the suits internal diagnostics appear functional, so it looks like everything is safe outside. He's keeping his helmet on just in case, though.

He tenses as he tentatively steps out of Blue's mouth, looking around nervously. It's not as bright as it could be, outside -- the sun for this planet appears to be setting behind the forest, so he tentatively decides to call that direction the west in his head. It's eerily quiet except for the push and pull of the waves, no birdsong or insect noises. Blue's gears whirl behind him, like she can tell that he's set on edge, and he glances back at her, smiling. She's dinged up, definitely, but none of her paneling seems to be missing and he can't see any glaring issues. Something internal must be keeping her from flying, and from being able to communicate out. _Or maybe there's no one to communicate with_ , part of him whispers. He shoves that thought away and steps out onto the rocky shore. 

The pebbles slip underfoot slightly, but he makes his way around his lion anyway, checking her out from all angles. There's still nothing obviously wrong with her external hardware, which is somewhat concerning -- Lance could probably figure out what was wrong if it were an easy to spot problem, but he hadn't been the engineer of their group. Finding something inside of Blue and fixing it is going to be difficult, especially since Blue is a robot from an _alien planet_. Still, he reasons, Blue can help him figure it out, and he's not a total loss when it comes to physical repairs. 

His stomach growls suddenly. _Food_ , he thinks, suddenly worried, and then, even more alarmed, _water!_  How is he going to survive without water? There's no way he can drink the ocean water, even if it's not salty like Earth's -- not unless there's some sort of filtration system on Blue. But Blue is a military robot, at heart -- how much of her functionality is devoted to survival rather than arms? He has no idea, but if he's going to be stuck here for any amount of time, he needs to figure it out. 

"Blue, you got any supplies to keep me alive while we're out here?" he calls up to her, and she sends back a thought to him, a lower deck filled with basic rations and first aid. Not a lot, she warns him, but enough to keep him from starving for a little while. 

 _Okay_ , he thinks, surveying the landscape with his hands on his hips, trying to look at this as an adventure rather than a terrifying nightmare, _Let's do this_.

 

* * *

 

The contents of Blue's emergency supplies have all been frozen the same way Allura and Coran were, which means they still look fresh when he nukes one of the packets, which is good -- the bad is that they look like the same space goo that they've been living on for the past few weeks, which is kind of disappointing. Still, Lance reasons, at least he knows he can eat it without worrying about it poisoning him. There's liquids as well, water as well as something that smells sort of like coffee, if coffee had a fruity aftertaste. He decides to eat and drink just a little for right now -- it's not humid or overly hot on this island, so he doesn't think he'll dehydrate too quickly, and he doesn't want to risk depleting his supplies before he runs out.

The sun has set completely by the time he takes stock of what he has and what he doesn't. There's a decent amount of tools hidden away in Blue's walls, some that he recognizes and some that could possibly kill him because he has no idea how they work. Still, it's a start. 

He'd felt good about doing something, but as soon as he's finished sipping his water and puts aside the loose cables and wrench-like tools, he feels the anxiety creeping back in again. He huddles in Blue's cockpit, slumped in his chair, looking out into the darkness -- there's no moon here, or maybe it's just in a phase where he can't see it, because it's pitch black. 

 _What am I going to do if I can't fix Blue_? he thinks to himself, biting his thumb nail. Blue's connection with him pulses warmly, wrapping around his mind, but it doesn't reach the chill that's begun to dwell deep in his chest. He's not Shiro, the bold and steady leader, or Pidge, the unstoppable genius, or Hunk, the brilliant engineer. He's not even Keith, who managed to survive in some shitty shack in the middle of nowhere and track down Blue based on nothing more than a _feeling_. All Lance is feeling is exhausted, and hungry, and sort of sick with worry.

He's dozing in the seat, eyes half-lidded as he stares out over the dark waves, when he hears it -- a soft, humming buzz. It takes him a moment to recognize it, but when he does, he bolts up straight in his chair. 

"Hello?" he asks, clutching his helmet, praying the connection holds. "Hello, guys?" 

"Lance?" he hears someone say, staticky but strong, and there's a terrifying burst of noise before the connection clears completely. "Lance, is that you?"

Lance goes weak with relief, leaning his head back in his chair. "Keith, holy shit, I'm so glad to hear your voice. Wow, I can't believe I just said that."

"What happened?" Keith asks, ignoring the second part of his sentence. He sounds groggy, but Lance doesn't know if that's the connection or Keith himself. "I just -- I'm on some kind of weird planet -- where's everyone else? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. And I have no idea what happened, dude," Lance says, fingers hovering over the control panel, wondering if he can figure out where Keith is broadcasting from. "But Blue and I are kind of stranded, at least until I figure out what's wrong with her -- she can't fly for some reason."

Keith is quiet for a moment, and Lance worries the connection has been severed, but when he looks at the readout it's holding strong. He opens his mouth to say something, but then Keith says, so soft it could be a whisper, "Red is pretty messed up." 

Lance remembers, then, that Keith had tried to _fight Zarkon_  on his own before they'd gone into the portal, and how Shiro had to grab him to get him out of there because Red couldn't move. He swallows hard, remembering the way she'd looked when he saw her before they'd been ripped into the portal, her outside paneling rough with dents and blackened, her body resting unnaturally still on the floor of the hangar. Going through that and then crashing onto some strange planet could not have been good for her. He can't see Keith, but he can somehow practically feel the guilt rolling off of him, even though Red was the kind of lion who would never do anything she didn't want to -- she and Keith were equally impulsive, equally danger prone, and equally headstrong. 

"I'm sure she'll be fine," he says, trying to sound flippant. "I'm gonna get Blue fixed up in no time and we'll figure out where -- oh, there you are!" The screen is flashing with Keith's location -- it looks like they're in the same galaxy, thank god, but they're not on the same planet, unfortunately. Keith is -- some Altean measure of distance away. Close enough, though, for their comms to work, which is all that matters to Lance.

"Yeah, I see you," Keith says, and his voice is definitely raspy, which makes Lance's brow furrow. 

"Are -- are you okay, Keith?" he asks, fingers hovering over the small dot that represents him onscreen. Something about the way Keith has been speaking worries him; his tone is so different from the usual easy confidence that's inherent to him, like that careless way he sprawls when he sits, or the jut of his hip when he leans against a wall. 

Keith makes a low noise again, breath huffing over the comms, and says, "I'm fine." There's another pause. "My -- my shoulder got dislocated when I crashed, so I had to set it." 

Lance's stomach twists, and he has to cover his mouth to keep from gasping where Keith can hear. He'd been there when one of the other kids at the Garrison had dislocated her shoulder during a training exercise, and she'd screamed with enough agony in her voice when they set it that he'd had a nightmare about it for days. He closes his eyes, swallowing hard.

"I don't know if you've had time to look around," _or if you can_ , he thinks, but he doesn't want to say that out loud, "but there are emergency supplies at the next level down on Red. I mean, if she matches Blue, there _should_ be. Red could probably help you figure out what would work to help with any pain." 

Keith's breath releases over the comms again, a huff of air. This time, it sounds a little like laughter. Something in Lance releases at that sound, warmth suffusing his chest. "Thanks, Lance." 

"No problem, Mullet," Lance tells him, leaning back in his chair, smiling despite everything. 

 

* * *

 

Keith does a check of Red while they talk; Lance is reluctant to sever the connection, just in case they can't get it back up again, and Keith doesn't argue. Apparently he'd woken up about thirty minutes before he'd connected with Lance. He'd realized his shoulder was dislocated, figured out how to set it, and then realized that his helmet was lying on the other side of the cockpit. As soon as he'd put it on, the comms had attempted a connection, and he'd reached Lance. 

"So I guess that means there's still a chance the others are close, too," Lance says aloud, tapping his fingers on the arm of his seat. "Maybe they don't have their helmets on, or they broke or something."

"Could be," Keith says, but he doesn't sound convinced. He's been breathing heavily as he makes his way around Red, but apparently the lion had pointed out a numbing spray for him, as well as some sort of medicine that had made Keith cough loudly for a solid minute, but apparently immediately took away his headache. Red's smaller than Blue, being an arm, but she apparently has just as much in the way of supplies, which is good. Lance briefly sends a reverent _thank you_  to whatever Altean stocked the lions before Alfor sent them all out into the far reaches of space. Hopefully the others are in a similar state, wherever they are."

Red is..." Keith says, pulling Lance out of his thoughts. "She can't move. At all. She's not sure what's wrong. I -- I don't know if I'll have enough to fix her by myself." He sounds quietly miserable, something that has to be due to whatever drugs are working through his system right now. The Keith he knows would never let himself sound this vulnerable, this lost, and Lance hates him for a moment, hates that there's sympathy twisting in his stomach for _Keith_  of all people. Keith is supposed to be this smooth, confident asshole, always one step ahead. If he's already losing hope, what is that supposed to mean for Lance?

He takes a deep breath. "Listen, Keith," he says firmly, "You and Red are gonna be fine. Red is a magical space robot, and I'm sure she's been through some crazy shit before -- you are not the only Red Paladin, and you probably won't be the last. She'll be fine. So suck it up." His voice remains steady throughout, thankfully, although for some reason he starts feeling flustered about halfway through.

Keith doesn't say anything for a moment, but then he laughs again, that same soft puff of laughter. It's brief, but it's genuine, and Lance mentally pats himself on the back. "What a shitty pep talk," Keith says, sounding sleepy. Something about his voice makes Lance feel warm, like his tiredness is catching up with him as quickly Keith's clearly is. "Can we -- can we stay connected?" Keith asks through a yawn.

Lance nods, then realizes Keith can't see it. He slumps in his seat, and Blue dims the internal lights, everything hazy and soft. "Yeah," he says, and then, halfway hoping Keith doesn't hear: "Goodnight."

There's no response except for the quiet sound of Keith breathing, and Lance finally lets himself drift off to sleep.

 

* * *

 

Lance jerks awake to the sound of something crashing. His legs kick out and up, and he yelps as he slams his shin into Blue's control panel. He curses viciously, grabbing at his leg, and then squints when he hears laughter. He blinks his eyes open properly to the bright sunshine on the beach, and tries to place what's going on; he abruptly remembers everything that happened at once. _Right_ , he thinks. _It's just me and--_  

"Sorry," Keith says, still chuckling a little bit, "I dropped a panel, forgot you were still there." He doesn't sound very apologetic, but he does sound better than he had yesterday, which makes Lance less worried about everything. He peers at the screen showing the outside, trying to see if anything has changed. It looks the same as yesterday, though, just unending ocean and the beach wrapped around the island. He should probably explore some today, just to see if there are any resources, or if it really even is an island. He projects the thought at Blue, and she agreeably purrs at him. He knows he should be working on fixing her flight, especially since it's unlikely that Keith will be able to repair Red on his own, but he's still worried about the idea of running out of supplies.

When he walks outside, the sun, or whatever star it is that's shining in this solar system, is about halfway into the sky. "It's like midmorning here, damn," Lance says absently, kicking some of the rocks on the beach around. It's still so eerily quiet outside, even though his mind insists he should be hearing seagulls screaming and insects buzzing. He shivers a little despite the warmth of the air. 

"It's dawn here," Keith says. Lance jumps a little, frowning. He'd forgotten about Keith, somehow. Apparently that was easy to do. He can hear him breathing now, though, and it disrupts some of the oppressive silence. "I guess that makes sense, that our planets have different rotational speeds. My nights are longer than yours." 

Lance yawns, stretching a bit. "I hope my days are decently long, I'm about to explore."

Keith hums slightly; a knocking noise starts up, a steady hammering that makes Lance wonder what he's doing. "I'm not entirely sure it's safe for me out there. It's really misty, and I can't see much more than a hundred feet or so anywhere around Red." The hammering stops, and Keith grunts as he shifts something around. 

"What are you doing?" Lance asks curiously. He waves to Blue and starts walking along the edge of the weird forest, peering into it -- it's dense, shrubs and strange spiky bushes layered at the base of the trees, but he can't see anything unusual. His helmet had sealed when he went outside of Blue, so he hesitantly opens it, taking a breath of fresh air. It feels good, breathing air that isn't recycled through his helmet or Blue's systems. The air smells slightly off, but not in a bad way -- just different, like going to a new city and not being used to how dirty the air is, or coming from the city to a rural place and somehow missing the scent of smoke and fog and too many people pressed together. 

"I'm checking Red's core. I think her energy is drained, which is why she can't move. I'm not entirely sure how the lions are sustained? Do they run on crystals, like the castle? Cause I think I'm fucked if I have to find a Balmera out here." Keith grunts, and Lance pictures him moving aside paneling, muscles straining. Is he really okay after dislocating his shoulder yesterday? He pushes that thought aside and thinks about Keith's question.

Lance has never thought about what makes Blue run. She seems sentient herself, so it's easy to forget that she's essentially just a giant robot cat; she and Lance have a bond, their minds are connected as surely as he'd connected with the other team members during their training. She can't just be science -- there's something magic and alive in her, he can feel it. 

"Maybe she just needs to rest. I mean, I know Blue and I got hit pretty hard when we went to get Yellow, and she was okay after a few days. Maybe they'll self heal."

Keith is quiet a moment, which seems to be a normal thing with him. Lance never noticed these pauses so much when he could look Keith in the face -- Keith's face is always so expressive, it's like he can say things with just a quirked eyebrow, or by lifting one corner of his mouth in a certain way. "Red says it's something like that, but she does need repairs. And I think Blue's flight being messed up isn't something she can fix on her own." 

"I figured," Lance replies. "Nothing's ever easy, is it?" He's finally almost to the end of the beach he'd been able to see from where Blue is, and he turns around to look at her. She's a distant blue and white figure, surrounded by her shield now that he's not close by. He feels slightly worried about letting her leave his sight, but then she flicks her tail up at him, a little salute, and the worry turns to fondness. He takes a deep breath and walks around the edge of the shore, leaving her behind him. 

It's more of the same, as far as he can tell, except for a strange outcropping of what look like caves, just a little further down. "Keith, should I go into these spooky caves or does that sound like a terrible idea?" he asks, wishing Hunk were here to warn him to be cautious. He misses Hunk sharply for a moment, and Pidge as well, feeling their absence like a physical wound. He's been trying to avoid thinking about them, trying not to think of them drifting through space or lost on planets that are far less hospitable than this one, or -- or worse. _They're fine_ , he thinks firmly. 

"I dunno," Keith says, voice muffled like he's got something between his teeth, "Are there skulls and bloody signs telling you to keep out?"

Lance laughs a little, surprised. He decides to peek in and see if there's anything in the caves. They look pretty unassuming. "Was that a joke? Are you trying to be funny right now?"

"Apparently," Keith says dryly. 

"It was horrible, and I appreciate the effort, but let's agree that I'm the funny guy here," Lance tells him. The first cave he comes to is damp, water dripping from the ceiling and a strange dark blue fuzz growing along the walls, but it seems fine. He activates the flashlight on his suit and gingerly heads in. "I'm going in, over."

"We're not on walkie talkies, Lance." Keith's voice is amused, and Lance feels himself smiling in response. He's really glad Keith ended up close enough to talk to him, he realizes. If he'd been alone, he'd probably be terrified, maybe even reluctant to leave Blue at all, but it feels less -- lonely, with Keith in his ears. If Keith is just a communications connection away, if he can spot him on the radar and know exactly where he is, then he isn't really that lost. It might be a false comfort, but Lance will take anything he can get right now. 

"Whatever, dude. How's Red looking?" Lance aims his light in an arc, trying to spot something that will makes his trip in here worth it. There's nothing except a few rock formations and some particularly fuzzy blue moss. 

"I think," Keith says slowly, "That she's going to be able to recharge herself. Somehow. She can't explain it to me properly, but they can pull in energy? Like that quintessence stuff or whatever?"

"Like Zarkon was harvesting and storing at that base?" Lance asks.

"Yeah," Keith answers. Neither of them mentions the fact that Keith had almost been killed during that mission. Keith is silent again, but this time it feels heavier for some reason, and Lance opens his mouth to say something to break the silence, but then Keith speaks again. "She says it'll take a while, though." 

"That's cause Red is lazy," Lance says cheerfully, trying to dismiss the somber tone -- he really doesn't need to be feeling negative while he's alone in a dark cave. "Blue would be charged up in no time."

"Red says 'fuck you'," Keith tells him, and Lance laughs loud enough that it echoes in the cave. "What are you seeing over there?" 

"A whole lot of nothing," Lance says. "I'm gonna go a little bit further and leave. I don't know what I was expecting anyway. A pile of advance technology just sitting here waiting for me to find it? Or, oh, a pile of cheeseburgers. I'd kill for a cheeseburger right now."

"Stop talking about food," Keith says, "Or I'll kill _you_." 

Lance opens his mouth to reply, but then his light catches on something on the ground -- he furrows his brow, moving closer, crouching to make the light level. It takes him a second to understand what he's looking at, and his heart skips a beat uncertainly, pounding in his chest. He realizes he's been quiet too long when Keith says his name, loudly.

"Lance?" Keith says, sounding concerned. "Lance, what's going on?"

"There's a, um, a fire pit in this cave," Lance says quietly. It looks fairly recent, if his memories of camping trips with his brothers and sisters are any indication, maybe a few days old. It's oddly terrifying, how similar it is to the ones he used to help make when he was younger. "Pretty fresh."

Keith sucks in a breath. Lance's ears are buzzing slightly. "Okay, so -- so there's sentient lifeforms on your planet. That could be good news. Maybe you can work out if they can help you fix Blue." Keith is doing the determinedly cheerful thing Lance has been doing for him. Lance wonders if it felt as hollowly reassuring as he feels now. Keith is right, of course, there could be nothing to worry about. They've met multiple alien species and they've been mostly fine, and only the Galra were hostile on sight. But the sight of the remains of this fire fill him with dread, for some reason. He starts to back out of the cave, slowly and then breaking into a run. Fear rises in him like bile, and he clenches his fists tight, swallowing around a lump in his throat.

He needs to get back to Blue.

"Lance, you're gonna be fine," Keith says firmly. Lance doesn't waste his breath answering him, just bursts out of the cave and sprints down the beach back towards Blue. He whips around the corner of the beach, barely breathing, and nearly crashes to his knees when he spots her exactly where she was, shield still raised. He doesn't stop, doesn't let himself slow down, just runs as fast as he can towards her, ignoring Keith saying his name over and over.

 _She's okay she's okay she's okay_. 

When he's ten feet away her shield falls and she embraces his mind with her own, worried and comforting in equal measure, and he finally drops to the ground, gasping for breath. His hands are shaking, he realizes, holding them up in front of him. His pulse is racing and his breath is staccato, and he can't draw air in properly, just loses it as soon as he gasps it in.

There's a buzzing sound in his ears again, but it's different -- it takes him a moment to realize it's Keith talking. 

"Lance, Lance, Lance," Keith is chanting, "Listen to my voice." His voice is calm, soothing, steady. "Breathe in, Lance, you can do it, just breathe." Keith sucks in a deep breath, and Lance forces himself to do the same, slow, slow, and then lets it out again. "Again, Lance," Keith insists, and Lance does it again, and again, until he can breathe normally. It takes too long, kneeling on the beach, waiting for the numbness to leave his fingertips. 

Blue's mouth is open, so he crawls to his feet and shakily makes his way inside her, sliding a hand along her walls, soaking up her affection and concern and love. His heart is still unsteady but it levels out somewhat when she closes up behind him, sealing him in. He closes his eyes tight, face burning. He can't believe he just lost his shit like that, and in front of Keith no less. All because there was a chance some other being was on this planet and might find her. _And might take her_ , he thinks, shivering. 

 _I can't be alone_ , he thinks, pressing his helmet to the wall, feeling the pulse of Blue's mind pressing against him. _Don't leave me alone_. She reassures him she won't, but it feels the same way a parent tells a white lie to a child to make them feel better. She just continues to purr soothingly, and he sighs.

He clears his throat, wincing at the croak of his voice. "Sorry," he says roughly. "That was--"

"It's fine," Keith interrupts, and Lance is pathetically grateful that he's trying to move past it. He grits his teeth and makes his way towards the supplies, searching for water. "Blue's okay?"

"Yes," Lance says, absurdly touched that Keith is asking about her. It shouldn't surprise him; Keith is one of four people besides Lance who knows what's it's like to be connected with a lion like this, who knows how devastatingly _linked_  you are. Lance hadn't realized how much he depended on Blue until there was a chance she would be gone. It was different, when it was Nyma and Rolo stealing her -- the other lions and paladins were there, close by and in top fighting condition. Lance, on his own, would never be able to get her back. It terrifies him, the thought of losing her, especially while he's alone on a strange planet. It's hard to believe he didn't even know about her a month ago.

The water is cold and crisp on his throat and he takes several mouthfuls before speaking again. "I'm gonna start looking for Blue's flight mechanics," he says. There's a clear tone in his voice that says he wants to be alone, but he's reluctant to break the connection, still worried about losing it. Keith makes an agreeable noise. There's clattering in the background again, like he's back to working on Red, and it makes Lance smile, just a little; Keith, rolling with the punches, picking back up where he left off after talking Lance out of a panic attack. Typical.

"If you wanna mute your helmet, it should keep the connection going even if you take it off. I'll keep mine on just in case," Keith offers, and Lance agrees, murmuring a goodbye and silencing Keith's feed. He takes a deep breath, then another, reminding himself that one small campfire is not going to fuck up his mission, and heads into Blue's body, determined to fix her and get off this fucking planet.

 

* * *

 

Blue directs him as best she can, but she doesn't come equipped with specialized knowledge of her own inner workings, and there's no handy dandy manual waiting for him. He carefully takes his helmet off, waits a moment, and then puts it back on -- the connection has stayed open, so he takes it back off again, sighing in relief, scrubbing a hand through his hair for the first time in a day or so. He strips out of the rest of his suit to be able to fit into some of the gaps, which actually feels great, but it means he gets poked and stabbed by machinery more than once. He thinks he's found some wiring that looks promising, but there's nothing wrong that he can see, and it's impossible for him to be sure without knowing Altean. He fiddles with some sockets that look burnt, but Blue tells him she doesn't think that's the problem. He crawls through her machinery, looking at everything, taking his time to check each individual part until he's covered in some kind of lubricant (it's not black, like grease, but sort of greenish) and sweat. 

Blue finally tells him it's dark outside, and he decides to stop for the day, exhausted; his head hurts, and he's not sure whether it's from stress or lingering aches from the crash. His body is sore from being twisted into awkward positions, and he cut his hand on a gear earlier, but at least his breathing is normal and he's not breaking down over nothing -- he feels embarrassed even more now that he's had time to think about his overreaction. He puts the helmet back on, noting that the connection has remained strong, which means hopefully they won't have to keep their helmets on constantly. The helmets are comfortable for what they are, but keeping your head inside something for days on end is disgusting. His hair is starting to get greasy, and he can only imagine what a mess his skin is going to be if he can't wash up. 

When he unmutes the connection, he has to cover his mouth to keep from laughing. Keith is humming to himself, some pop song that Lance can't quite put his finger on, but it's familiar and upbeat and very much not what he expected from Keith, at all. He walks down to the supplies, listening quietly, smiling when Keith gets so into his humming that he actually sings, "Dah dah dadadah," along with the beat, in a surprisingly melodic voice. He knows he should say something, knows that Keith would be embarrassed if he knew Lance was listening, but it's calming to hear to Keith sing so unselfconsiously, so he just keeps quiet and listens.

When Keith finally trails off, Lance waits for a minute or so and then says, loudly, "What's up, Mullet?" 

"Shit!" Keith says, followed by a large crashing sound. "Fucking shit, Lance!"

Lance laughs, feeling the last vestiges of his negativity lifting at the sound of Keith cursing -- he feels better being reconnected to Keith again, he realizes. It's comforting to hear someone else's voice, to know that there's another human being out there somewhere, to know that someone, even if it's Keith, cares about what happens to him. "What have you been up to?" he asks. He's tempted to say something about Keith singing, but he remembers Keith letting his panic attack go without saying anything, and he can't bring himself to. Plus, he kind of hopes Keith slips up and does it again.

"Thinking of ways I can kill you," Keith retorts, which makes Lance snort a little. There are more clanging noises on Keith's end, and then he makes a small noise in the back of his throat, like he's stretching. "Just trying to figure out Red's insides, I guess. It's ridiculous in here, there's so many complicated little pieces."

"I bet Red and Blue look totally different, too, since they make up different parts of Voltron," Lance says, wiping at some of the sticky green stuff on his skin. "Hey, do you have this weird green stuff in Red? It's gonna ruin my skin, I can tell."

"The grease stuff? Yeah, I'm pretty sure my gloves are wrecked forever."

"Your dumb biker gloves, oh no," Lance drawls. "That's the saddest thing I've ever heard."

"Your face," Keith says. Lance grins, chugging some water. He strokes his hand along Blue's wall as he makes his way back to the pilot's seat, absorbing Blue's warm presence and Keith's petulant tone like sunshine.  "Did you get anywhere with Blue?"

"Not really," he says, collapsing in the seat with a groan and kicking his feet up onto the control panel as Blue scoots the chair closer. His body suit is dirty and gross, but it's much more comfortable than sleeping in the full armor like he'd done last night. He wiggles a little in the seat, stretching himself out and half-closing his eyes. There's still no moon, just black outside and the soft crashing of waves, but tonight, he can spy little pinpricks of light -- the stars, he realizes. There are so many of them, giant clusters of them glittering up in the sky. "Hey, look outside."

"It's foggy, Lance," Keith says dryly. "I can't see anything." 

Lance frowns, glancing again at the screen that shows Keith's location. He resists the urge to reach out and touch the little flashing light, because that's dumb and there's no reason and Keith won't know he's doing it. Instead, he folds his hands together behind his head and tips his head back. "I was just looking at the stars, I guess. It's so weird to not see the constellations I grew up with."

Keith hums a little; there's a rustling sound, like he's getting comfortable too. "They were really easy to see out in the desert. I fell asleep on the roof watching them a few times." His voice is soft, light. Lance closes his eyes and pretends Keith is in Blue with him, or he's in Red, or they're both back in the castle looking out through the windows at the stars. 

Or he's _home_ , back home with his mother and siblings and grandparents and his dad, who had just texted him complaining about his new glasses prescription that night that they they snuck out of the Garrison. Lance hadn't even replied to him; he'd thought he'd be able to do it in the morning when he made his weekly call to the house, so that he could laugh at his father while his mother asked him about school and his sisters made him tell them all about Hunk and Pidge. 

He misses them so much it hits him sharp in his chest, and he presses his hand there like it will keep his heart from breaking. He's felt the distance from them before, remembers watching Coran spin the hologram depicting the universe over and over, never really getting any closer to Earth. He could be closer now, or he could be further away. There's no real way of knowing, and it wouldn't matter if he did know, because he isn't getting off this planet any time soon anyway. 

Lance reaches under the helmet to press the heels of his hands into his eyes until starbursts pop under his eyelids. _Stop it_ , he tells himself. _You'll get out of here, and you'll save Keith, then the others, then the universe, in that order, and then you'll get all the parades you want on Earth_. 

"I miss it," he says quietly. "Earth." He clears his throat and opens his eyes again, looking up at the stars. It looks so similar, but it's completely unfamiliar. It's so, so quiet out here, except for the waves and Keith's breathing. "It feels like forever since we've been gone but it hasn't been that long at all."

"Yeah," Keith says. "I didn't -- I didn't think I'd miss it. There's not a lot left for me on Earth." He pauses again, long and thoughtful, and for once, Lance doesn't want to fill up the silence. He wants to hear what Keith says. "I don't -- I don't have any family, and the Garrison was the last place I really lived with other people. I didn't know what I was going to do, until Blue started calling me."

Lance had known, somehow, that Keith was alone, even at the Garrison. Keith had never had any visitors, or stood around making phone calls or texting; he barely interacted with the people in his group. Lance had always found his eyes drawn towards him, the best pilot in their class, always at the top but never surrounded by people. It didn't make sense -- Keith was talented, and attractive, and --

_Attractive?_

Okay, he concedes to himself, making a face, Keith is pretty hot. He can admit that. He has nice eyes, and a really great body, and he's got that whole bad boy vibe going on, even if he's terrible at pulling it off. Keith shifts again, seat creaking slightly, and it makes him wonder what Keith looks like right now. He frowns, thinking of Keith leaned back in his own seat, dirty and disheveled from crawling around inside Red all day. Has he taken off his armor as well? He talked about messing up his gloves, so he must have. Lance can't help but picture it, Keith in all black, legs tucked under him, his pale hands resting on the arms of the chair. His dark eyes under his long lashes, tilted up towards at the sky. 

"I do miss it, though," Keith continues, pulling Lance out of his thoughts. He flushes, suddenly glad they're separated. "Earth, I mean. I miss the shack, and my cycle. That Chinese restaurant back in town, on Elm Street." He pauses, and Lance taps his fingers over on the chair, watching the stars but listening so hard for Keith's next words that he barely even sees them. "I miss the rain," Keith says, sighing.

Lance goes still, heart skipping a beat. He thinks of himself, saying the same thing to Coran only a few days ago, and then laughs a little. "Me too," Lance admits. "I really want to hear thunder again. It was my favorite thing, falling asleep to a thunderstorm."

"I liked the lightning," Keith says, and Lance feels his mouth curving into a wider smile. The ache of missing home is still there, still sharp, but it's dulled a little by the soft wistfulness of Keith's voice, slightly rough at the edges like he's about to fall asleep again. 

"Of course you would, you loser," he scoffs. Keith hums a little in response, and then his breathing evens out into sleep. Lance listens for a moment, closing his eyes and concentrating on the sound; he realizes that he's matching his breath to Keith's, and then before he can really think anything else, he's falling asleep. 

 

* * *

 

"Blue," Lance says impatiently, "You've gotta have something. _Something_. I can't just crawl around in your machinery forever."

Blue does the mental version of a shrug, which is kind of infuriating, especially when she seems unaffected by the frustrated growl he lets out. He's just glad Keith isn't listening to him have this one-sided conversation, since when they'd woken up Lance had offered to let Keith keep his helmet off for a few hours. Keith had accepted, still yawning, and then gone quiet. Lance was trying not to miss how noisy he was. 

"Blue," Lance says, "Seriously, there's no way for you show me what might be wrong? Can't you, like, feel it?" 

Blue sends him a thought that basically implies, _do you know how all of your insides work_? Which. Fair point, Lance concedes grumpily. He's not really mad at her, he's just getting tired of getting nowhere. He's been messing around with Blue's wiring all morning, and he's no closer to figuring out what's wrong than he was before. He's also starting to feel a little claustrophobic, not just from being the cramped paneling and shafts that house all of Blue's parts, but from being inside the lion for hours and hours on end. His skin is grimy, and his hair is starting to clump together, and he really, really wants to clean up, but part of him is still wary of going back outside. Which is dumb, because he's literally got a giant robotic space cat who can blow anything to bits and then freeze those bits in place if she wanted to. 

Blue reminds him that she's right here, and he doesn't have to go far to be in the ocean, which seems to be safe according to her scanners. He bites his lip. 

"I'll wait until Keith comes back and ask him about it," Lance tells her.

"Ask me what?" Keith asks, and Lance yelps loud enough that it echoes, which makes Keith burst into laughter. It lasts long enough that it's kind of offensive, honestly, but he has a nice enough laugh that Lance doesn't do anything other than sigh. "Sorry," Keith says, not sounding sorry at all; he sounds like he's still smiling. Lance kind of wishes he could see his face so he could confirm if that's true.

"Sure you are, Mullet," Lance says. "Uh, I was gonna ask about me going out to this terrifying ocean to try to get clean. Since I'm disgusting. I'm probably as gross as you were, living out in your desert shack."

"There was a shower out there, Lance," Keith says flatly. 

"Sure," Lance says, deliberately sounding doubtful, just to tease him. Keith sighs loudly at him, but he still sounds amused, which makes Lance grin. He's never really talked with Keith this much before. They'd fought, of course, when they first formed the team, and then had a few amicable fights and banter sessions; there had been that 'bonding moment,' as Keith referred to it, but Lance can barely even remember what happened that day, other than talking with Coran about Earth and Altea and Keith's hand in his own, holding him steady. Everything had been happening so quickly lately that none of them had really had time to stop and just -- talk to each other. It's been kind of nice, talking to him, he realizes. 

"I don't hate you," Lance blurts out of nowhere. Keith snorts, and Lance flushes red, feeling like his face is burning. Why can't he stop embarrassing himself in front of Keith? It's been two days and he feels like he's said more stupid shit in the last forty-eight hours than he has in all the time they've been together. 

"I'm aware, Lance. I don't hate you either," Keith replies, but he sounds pleased, and Lance makes a face, slightly flustered. Blue purrs laughingly at him. "Go ahead and go wash up, dude. I'll be okay for a bit." 

"I'm taking the helmet with me, I'll be back as soon as I can," Lance promises. He's already making his way outside, trying to calm his nervousness, reminding himself that nothing even happened the last time he went out there. It's overcast today, and he's a little bit pleased about it because he'd like to see rain again, even on another planet. Then he remembers Coran talking about molten rocks raining on Altea, and he squints suspiciously up at the clouds, trying to discern if they look lethal. "Are you still surrounded by fog, Keith?" he asks, sliding over the rocks and peeling out of his body suit as he goes. The air is cooler without the sun out, but Lance is used to the cold breezes off the ocean. He glances around, making sure he can't see anything, but it's just as quiet and still as it's been every time he's come outside. The water is still blue, a beautiful blue. He reaches down and dips a fingertip into the water; it's warmer than he thinks it should be, but it's not unbearable, or too alarming.

"Yeah. I think it's actually clearing up some," Keith says, sounding hesitantly hopeful. He's been stuck in his lion without even the small reprieves Lance has had, he remembers sympathetically. It has to be especially difficult for Keith, who always seems to be constantly in motion, a whirl of barely contained energy in a cropped jacket and jeans. "Red's says she's been able to draw in a little bit of power, so I might try to go outside later today." 

"Cool," Lance says, shimmying out of the suit entirely -- he feels incredibly exposed and weird, naked but for his boxers and his helmet, but he wade out into the water, already feeling better as it laps at his calves and knees. He scrubs at his legs and thighs with his hands, wishing he had soap or something, but it's enough just to feel the sweat and dirt washing away. He edges in until he's submerged to his thighs, splashing a little to reach his arms.

"Wait -- are you -- are you in the water right now?" Keith asks, voice pitched oddly. Lance frowns, midway through rubbing a stubborn patch of grease off his fingertip and barely paying attention.

"Yeah?" Lance says absently.

"Naked?" Keith says, and he's definitely in a higher register than normal. Lance stops, flushing red and jerking so that the water splashes up around him.

"I've got boxers on, _idiota,_ " he says defensively, looking back at the beach automatically. Blue is watching him, ears perked forward, tail listlessly twitching. He can't hear her from here, but she looks amused, despite not having a real expression. 

"Right," Keith says quickly, voice back to his normal levels. He laughs a little, and there's a soft thumping sound, like he's leaned his head back against the wall, or dropped his hand down on something. "Sorry. I was just picturing it."

"Don't picture it," Lance says primly, even though he feels his ears grow hot, remembering how he had pictured Keith sitting in his pilot's seat last night. "Why would you assume I was naked?" Keith is silent, and Lance frowns. "Wait -- oh my god," he says with a bolt of realization, "You don't wear underwear!"

"I don't like the way it feels," Keith says, somewhat petulantly. Lance bursts into laughter, trying to ignore the small part of him that secretly acknowledges that Keith's pants were tight enough that he would have been able to see a line if he had been wearing underwear. He shoves that thought away quickly, walking back to the shore. "It's just easier."

"You don't have to explain it to me, dude," Lance says, trying to will himself to stop blushing. "Hey, I'm taking the helmet off real quick to get my head. Be right back."

He doesn't wait for Keith to respond, more than willing to put the weird conversation behind him; he sets the helmet on the pile of his body suit, close enough that he can reach it quickly but not close enough the waves can reach it. There are goosebumps rising as the wind whips over his wet skin, so he hurries back into the water and closes his eyes and mouth firmly before dunking his head down. He scrubs his hands through his hair quickly, trying to make sure he doesn't get it on his face too much. He trusts Blue's scanners to an extent, but he'd rather not risk it.

When he leans back up he tilts his head back, running his hands through his hair and squeezing the short ends. He glances back at the beach and freezes. 

There's something on the beach next to his clothing.

It's humanoid but small and rounded, crouched down on its hands and knees. It glances up at him with its -- he counts quickly -- four eyes, a small slightly feathery red and green figure, sharply contrasted against the gray rocks. Blue is still as well, head trained towards the creature, but she hasn't made any aggressive movements towards it. Her shield is not raised.

It seems to be alone, and it honestly looks sort of like a really weird stuffed animal, but Lance's heartbeat is still rabbiting in his chest. If that thing takes or breaks his helmet, he can't communicate with Keith anymore. He shivers as the wind whips over his wet skin, and makes himself take a tentative step towards it, because he can't just stay in a stalemate forever. The thing doesn't move  but it does crouch a little bit lower. Over the sounds of the waves, he can vaguely hear noise coming from his helmet, like Keith is talking.

Lance takes a single step at a time, one by one, until he's standing in the shallows of the ocean with the water lapping around his ankles. He's maybe ten feet from the alien, and it hasn't moved except to keep watching him. This close, he can see it has four fingers on its appendages, tipped in huge black claws, and its eyes are a bright yellow color. He forces himself to stop looking at the claws, glancing back up at its eyes. They don't seem hostile, but he lowers himself into a crouch as well, hoping he looks non-threatening himself. He doesn't feel very threatening, but he is taller than this thing, and it always worked for the stray dogs and cats he found back home. 

"Hello," he says quietly. "Who are you?"

He doesn't expect the thing to reply, and it doesn't, but it does tilt its head to the tilt and regard him, like a bird would. Its feathers ruffle slightly. Keith is humming again -- Lance can hear him from here. It's another pop song. His heart aches a little, thinking of Keith being trapped on the other planet, completely alone, with no idea what had happened to Lance; he can't let this thing take his helmet away. He takes another step, and the alien tenses and lets out a soft trilling noise. 

"Please," Lance says, "Please leave. Go away." He wonders if he should try and scare it, like you might scare a forest animal away from your trashcans or something. He eyes the claws again and decides to keep moving closer, slowly, in the hopes that he can just grab the helmet and book it for Blue. He glances at her, and she's still watching, completely frozen. Her tail isn't even flicking. He takes a step, and then another.

When he's about two steps away, it finally opens its mouth wide, showing off huge fanged teeth, and lets out another trilling call. Keith stops humming, and says "Lance?" loud enough that Lance can hear the fear in his voice. The alien dips its head, touches the helmet with a claw once, and then abruptly bounds away towards the forest, kicking up rocks behind it as it runs. It launches itself at a tree, using its claws to scale the bark, and immediately blends into the red and green foliage. 

Lance scoops up the helmet and his suit and runs towards Blue, uncaring of the rocks scraping against his bare feet. She closes her mouth behind him immediately and he gasps for air, blood racing hot through his veins, dropping to the ground. He closes his eyes, slowing his breathing on his own, grateful that he can already feel himself calming down now that he's with Blue. He can vaguely hear Keith still shouting his name, so he puts the helmet over his wet hair and says over the frantic sounds, "Keith, I'm fine."

Keith lets out a noise that Lance can't quite place -- like a hitching sound, like he's choking and exhaling all at once. There's a shuffling noise and then the sound is muffled -- Keith has taken off his helmet, Lance realizes, but he can still hear him  breathing. Keith exhales shakily and says, quietly, " _Fuck_." Lance is startled at how gutted he sounds. It's quiet for just a moment, and then Keith breathes in deeply. There's more noise as Keith puts the helmet back on, immediately asking, "What happened?"

"There was -- on the beach, there was an alien. It wasn't hostile," Lance assures him when Keith inhales sharply. "It was just sort of some bird kind of thing, I don't know. It was just looking at the helmet, and then at me. I think it heard you talking and got curious."

"Did it look sentient? Like it could have made the fire?" 

"I'm not sure," Lance admits. "It has huge claws, I think it lives in the trees, so I don't know if it could have started a fire with those. But it didn't hurt me or act aggressive, so I think I'm okay for now." He's surprised to find that he is okay, actually, which is a little startling given he now has confirmation that there are other beings on the planet. "It looked like a giant red and green furby with claws and four eyes, basically. And arms and legs."

"A what?" Keith asks, bewildered.

"Dude, you never had one? Count yourself lucky," Lance says; he shivers absently, still mostly naked, still wet. He stands up and shakes out his suit, eyeing the skin-tight material critically. He's not sure he can push himself into that thing while he's damp. "I'm pretty sure they were actually possessed by demons."

"Right," Keith says uncertainly. "But you're okay? You're not worried it's gonna come back?"

"Well I am now that you've said that," Lance says, making a face. "But it seemed to be okay. I think it was just curious." He grins. "It must have heard you singing."

"Um," Keith says, mildly horrified.

"You've got a good voice," Lance says teasingly. He's not really joking, but he doesn't want to admit that, so he keeps his voice light. "How come you never sang for us at the castle?"

"Shut up," Keith mutters; there's another shifting sound, like something thudding against a wall, or the floor. Lance wonders if he's sitting down now. "You're really good?" 

"I'm good," Lance confirms. "I actually think I feel better knowing what's out there, I guess. And surviving my first encounter with it. And also I did manage to get clean, so yeah, I'm feeling pretty good right now."

"Glad you're feeling so chipper," Keith grumbles. He sounds sort of weird, but Lance can't place how.  

"How's Red?" Lance asks. He decides to finally try to slip into the suit, shoving his foot down the leg and pulling hard. "Any more movement?" His other leg goes in easier, and he jerks the suit up to his waist. 

"Somewhat," Keith says. "She says it's hard to find energy to pull from here. According to the radar I'm in some kind of desert biome, so I'm not sure if that's what's making it hard or if it's just this planet." Lance has no idea, so he thinks in Blue's direction, _What do you think?_  

Blue doesn't seem to know either, but something else slips through -- worry, overwhelming worry for Red, he realizes. He hadn't thought about the lions' bonds to each other, but her feelings suddenly simmer to the surface and he realizes that she's been suppressing it up until now. Her anxiety weaves its way into his chest and cracks him open slightly, and he makes a small hurt noise without meaning to. She cares _so much_  and it _hurts_. Has she been feeling this way the entire time? Blue pulls her feelings back, apologetic, tucking them away again -- he touches his heart and holds his other hand to the wall, trying to project comfort the way she had at him. She lets out a rumbling noise that even Keith seems to hear, because he says "Ah," in this wry sort of tone, as if he's learning something he'd already guessed. Blue makes another noise, this time vaguely amused. Lance is officially getting lost. 

"What?" Lance asks. 

"Red heard Blue. She says 'Me too,' Blue." Keith laughs a little, and it sounds somewhat self-deprecating, like he's heard a joke that he's the punchline to. It's a strange contrast to the way he'd laughed earlier today, only a little while ago, that unbridled happiness at startling Lance into yelping. Lance frowns.

"What do you mean? What are they talking about?" Lance asks, directing it at Blue as well as Keith. She doesn't respond, humming in his mind.

"Ask Blue," Keith says flatly. His voice trips a little on the words, something that Lance wouldn't have noticed before if he hadn't spent the past few days so focused on listening to Keith. "Listen, I need to get back to what I was doing. Be safe, watch out for those aliens." He mutes his comm, and Lance casts a bewildered look up at Blue, but she doesn't offer an explanation. 

He slumps against the wall, sighing to himself. 

 

* * *

 

That night they talk for the third night in a row, leaned back in their seats. Lance holds his hands up to the screen and pretends to hold a star between his fingertips. He thinks that Pidge would make fun of him for doing something like this, and then frowns, spreading his fingers wide again. He thinks of the others, about how far or close they might be. "They're alright, don't you think?"

He doesn't elaborate, but he doesn't need to. Keith is quiet for a moment, and then says, "Yes. I'm not sure why but -- I can just tell. They're fine." His voice is steady, firm, and Lance closes his eyes and realizes that he believes him, trusts him. 

He clears his throat, fingers flexing absently -- he really, really wishes Keith were here. It's not the first time he's wished that, but it is the first time he's wished it because he wants to be able to hold Keith's hand, the way they'd held hands after the explosion at the castle. "I know what you mean," Lance says, because otherwise he's afraid he's going to say something about wanting Keith to be here out loud. "I'm worried but I'm not scared the way I thought I would be. Plus, Allura and Coran have to be looking for us too."

Keith hums his agreement; he's never exactly chatty, but he always seems more prone to making noises instead of using words when it's nighttime. 

"Do you think -- back on Earth, do you think they're looking for us?" Lance asks. His voice is scratchy so he clears it and then clarifies, "The Garrison, or our parents, or -- whatever." 

"Of course they're looking for you," Keith says, in this soft voice that doesn't suit him at all. Lance is so caught up trying to figure out why he sounds that way that he almost misses what Keith has said. The words filter through his ears and then catch on the last one. 

"What do you mean, 'you'?" He frowns, looking away from the stars and at the flashing light where Keith is. He sits up straighter in his chair, listening as Keith goes so quiet he can only be holding his breath. "Keith, people are looking for you too."

Keith huffs out a breath of air, like he's laughing, except there's nothing funny about it as far as Lance is concerned. "Lance, I wasn't joking when I said there's no one waiting for me on Earth. I don't have anyone there. Not even the school is going to be looking for me, since I dropped out." There's nothing even bitter in his tone, which makes Lance even more upset -- he's not sure why, but the idea of Keith thinking he has _no one_ , not a single person who cares about his wellbeing, makes him want to find whoever was responsible for Keith ending up living in a shack alone and yell at them until they explain what the fuck they thought they were doing. He clenches his fists and makes himself lean back in the seat. He closes and then opens his eyes.

"When we get back," he says, "You should come meet my family." Keith doesn't say anything, but his breath hitches a little. " _Mamá_ would probably love you, she's always had a soft spot for wannabe bad boys. She says my dad used to have a motorcycle and he would ride it around the school parking lot, sneaking glances at her and the other girls." He doesn't mean for his tone to go wistful, but it's inevitable when he thinks of his mother, of the smile lines around her eyes and the way her hair smelled of lavender. He looks in the mirror sometimes, her eyes in his face, and wonders about the new lines that have formed while he's gone, and how many more there will be -- about his sister's hair growing past her shoulders, the way she's always wanted, or his brother finally surpassing him in height, all while he's farflung in space, too many miles away to count. 

"That doesn't sound like me at all," Keith says, pulling him back to the moment. "Riding a motorcycle around to impress girls, I mean."

"You wear motorcycle gloves," Lance protests. "Your cycle is just a tricked out version of the same thing, even if it's not a regular motorcycle."

Keith's voice is amused when he says, in a sort of patiently condescending voice, "I meant the impressing girls part." 

Lance's mind goes blank; he can practically hear his brain whirring as he processes that statement. Keith is quiet again, just breathing over the line, while Lance thinks _does he mean he doesn't care about impressing people in general or does he mean he'd only want to impress boys? Does it matter? Why does this matter to me?_ His pulse is staccato in his ears, and he swallows around a lump in his throat. Blue's mind reaches out for him, all concern and care, and he hurriedly shoves his feelings away, out of her reach. She pulls back, their bond tinged with hurt, and he winces but keeps the thoughts locked away tight, too afraid to look at them closely. 

He realizes he's been silent for far too long, given that Keith has possibly just admitted something pretty personal, and hurriedly blurts out, "Huh. Cool."

 _Cool?_  he shouts to himself, cringing. _Cool?!_  Keith just laughs a little too, still sleepy around the edges, not sounding offended at all. Lance's heart skips a beat. He covers his mouth so he won't say anything else stupid, like _I really like the way you laugh_. "I guess," Keith says, shifting around. "But I'd -- I'd be okay with meeting your family. After all this."

Lance's heart pounds loud as a drum in his ears. He looks again at the screen again, inevitably drawn to Keith's flashing light, and wonders if Keith is looking at him too. He can't quite understand why he's reacting like this. "Sounds good."

Keith falls asleep not long after that, breath evening out into a pattern Lance has grown familiar with. Lance watches the screen and does not fall asleep for a very long time.

 

* * *

 

He wakes up at dawn despite his lack of sleep, because Blue is shifting. He jolts up in his chair, automatically splaying his hands over the levers, reaching out to her with his mind to find out what she's doing. She sends a thought back that basically amounts to _Listening_. The view outside shifts as Blue turns on the beach, looking towards the forest, and it takes a moment for him to understand what he's looking at. Lance's breath catches as he sees that there are dozens of the same kind of alien resting in the treetops, watching them.

They still don't look aggressive, or even very frightening, despite their wicked claws and sharp teeth. They're just perched in the treetops, looking back, not even making that strange noise. It's very quiet. Blue pushes at him, wondering if he's afraid, but he's not. Lance is in Blue this time, and it feels very hard to be afraid of a bunch of bird-thing aliens when all he has to do is push a button and they'll be frozen in place. He clears his throat, hoping Keith is already awake.

Keith makes a soft noise over the comms, a little whining sound that drops straight into Lance's stomach and burns -- he wonders what expression is on Keith's face right now, if there's a furrow between his brows, if his pink mouth is pursed unhappily. He pushes the thought aside and clears his throat again, louder. "Keith," he says. 

"Hmm?" Keith murmurs, and then says, in this warm, sleepy voice that makes Lance's face flush red, "Lance?"

"Wake up, Mullet," Lance says, resisting the ever present urge to look over at Keith's signal. "I've got company."

Keith suddenly sounds wide awake; there's a thudding noise and a curse, and Keith says sharply, "What's happening?"

"A bunch of them are outside -- at least a couple dozen -- the same aliens as the guy yesterday. They're just looking at me. Nothing's happening." Lance sucks his lower lip into his mouth and considers the aliens outside, flicking his eyes from each face to see if he can tell which is the one from yesterday. They're varying sizes but otherwise basically identical. There's nothing familiar about any of them. 

"What's the plan?" Keith asks. There are shuffling noises on his end, like he's moving around. Maybe pacing restlessly -- stuck in place, stuck in his lion, stuck too far found away to be of any help. How Keith hasn't snapped yet is a complete mystery. 

"I'm going to see what they do, I guess? I don't want to hurt them," Lance admits. "Blue is strong enough to destroy them in one go if she wanted. There's no need for that. As long as I'm inside her, I think I'll be fine. We should just -- do what we can. Any more luck with Red's recharge?"

Keith exhales, frustration tinging his voice. "No. She's pulling what she can in but it's not enough. I started working on the obvious damage yesterday but I'll probably need more material than what I have to fix her. I'm already low on soldering material. I might have to start pulling non-essential wiring where I can."

"I've got stuff," Lance says, "Blue's damage is minimal, I should have parts for you to use." He says it as if it's inevitable that he'll be able to give those parts to Keith, because he has to keep believing it's inevitable -- even as his water supply dwindles, even as he goes hour after hour without finding any answers, even as he listens to Keith breathe and realizes that he already can't quite remember the shade of his eyes. Blue? Darker than that, he thinks. Something unique. Something fit for a boy like Keith, who apparently doesn't care if girls like his eyes or not.

Lance swallows, fingers twitching, looking out at the aliens in the trees, and says, "We should get to work." He asks Blue to watch the aliens, and she agrees absently, clearly distracted by something else; Lance looks over his shoulder as he exits the cockpit, but the aliens don't move, and he leaves, feeling unease prickling between his shoulder blades.

 

* * *

 

They wordlessly agree to keep the connection while they work today, just in case, so Lance's ears are filled with the sounds of Keith working -- soft grunts and exhalations, little noises of triumph or frustration; once, he curses in Korean, and Lance has to bite his lip to keep from laughing. Something must be really bothering him, because he does it again a few minutes later.

" _Aish_ ," Keith mutters, and then says it again, drawing out the 'a' sound until Lance has to laugh. Keith sputters a little and coughs, like he'd forgotten that Lance was listening. Lance keeps an absent eye on the scanner he has hooked up to one of Blue's panels, but he's much more focused on Keith's little embarrassed noises.

"What are you doing?" he says, still laughing a little. 

"I've found some paneling that needs to be removed but it's bent," Keith mutters, straining every other word as if he's pulling at something, "And I can't get it out." 

"Do you have something you can use as a lever? Blue had this thing that was kind of like a crowbar in the storage behind her diagnostics terminal." The scanner beeps and informs him there's nothing wrong with this piece of machinery, and he sighs.

"Hmm." Keith makes a thoughtful sound and then there's more shuffling, until Keith says, "Ah," in this pleased tone that makes Lance smile without meaning to. He can feel his mouth stretching at the corners. "Thanks, Lance."

"No problem, dude. It's cool that they're essentially the same inside, despite the different functions." Lance unplugs and moves down to the next part of the machinery, looking for something else to try. He's basically running out of obvious options at this point, and Blue has been suspiciously quiet this morning -- possibly just paying attention to the aliens, but it means Lance is even more on his own than usual. He remembers Blue keeping her feelings from him, about her being worried for Red, and pauses. He'd never gotten an explanation about that. "Hey, Keith, what was that stuff with Blue and Red yesterday?"

All of the noise on Keith's side stops and then starts up again, and Keith says in a very poor attempt at being diffident, "You should just talk to Blue about it." 

"She's not being very talkative today," Lance replies, leaning against the wall and pushing gently at Blue with a thought -- she pushes back, but doesn't really respond to the pointed remark. "What's the big deal? We're bonded."

"It's not a big deal," Keith answers hesitantly. "It's just -- personal. It's theirs."

Lance blinks and then snorts a little. "We're _bonded_. I know she can keep stuff from me but her caring about Red seems a little bit weird to hide--"

"It's not just -- they care a lot, okay?" Keith sounds frustrated -- here is the bitter edge missing from his voice as he spoke of no one missing him on Earth. It's punctuated by sharp clanging noises in the background, and Lance winces. "They care more than just -- more than just friends." 

 _More than just -- oh_. 

He sends a thought to Blue again, but she remains preoccupied, only sending back a brief amused affirmation when he incredulously thinks _You're in love?_  Blue is in love with Red? His head spins a little at the thought, but he reflects on the intensity of Blue's feelings when she'd let her guard down yesterday, and there's really no other explanation. He feels stupid for not realizing it before.

"How?" he says, then immediately wishes he could take it back. _Why_  can't he stop saying stupid shit to Keith? "I mean -- I get it, they're alive, they have feelings, it's fine. But I've never noticed it before."

"We're been piloting them for like, a week, Lance," Keith says, and his tone is the equivalent of a very strong eyeroll. "You haven't exactly spent time asking her about her deepest feelings, have you?" 

"But you have with Red?" Lance asks, vaguely hurt at the implication that he and Blue weren't as close. 

"I -- I spent a lot of time with Red at the beginning. Since it took more to get her to open up. Red and I -- we're really a lot alike." Keith's voice takes on a peculiar lilt for that last sentence, and Lance stares at his hands on the scanner, wondering what Keith is really saying. He's gotten so much better at understanding Keith's little nuances, but there's something missing in his knowledge, like he's catching glimpses of something bright out of the corner of his eyes that he can't seem to catch. He really, really wishes he could see Keith's face.

"Oh," Lance says eventually, knowing it's inadequate. He clenches his fists around the scanner and feels his stomach twist slightly, thinking of Keith and Red and Blue and everything. 

"Yeah," Keith says, sounding resigned. "But that's it. They really care about each other. So we've got to -- we've got to make sure they can see each other again."

 _Them?_  Lance thinks.I _want to see_ _you_ _._

His breath catches as he realizes what he's just thought; he drops the scanner, which only narrowly avoids landing on his foot. It clatters to the floor loud enough that Keith can hear it. 

"Lance?" Keith asks immediately, worried. "What was that?"

 _I don't know_ , Lance thinks, somewhat frantically. "Just -- dropped the scanner, that's all. It's fine. No cracks. All good here. Everything's fine. Yep." His fingers shake a little as he bends down to pick it back up, and his stomach is full on somersaulting now -- he can hear Keith sighing over the comms and his heart jumps a little. He thinks of every single time he's wished for Keith since he's been here, thinks of the painful burst of emotion from Blue and how longing is a familiar, familiar thing. Lance only ever seems to want to see things anymore -- home, his family, his friends -- and now _Keith_.

Nothing makes sense at all.

 

* * *

 

Blue remains distant all day, and when Lance goes back to the cockpit, the aliens seem to be unchanged as well -- like they've just been in a staring contest for hours. He watches them blink, watches their feathery bodies shiver every now and then, and wonders what they're doing. If they're just curious, or if they're planning something, or if they're just bored. It's not dark yet, but he's hungry and tired, so he slumps in his seat and eats some of the remaining goo, trying not to think of how low his supply is getting. 

Keith has been quiet all afternoon, catching himself before he starts humming and responding to any of Lance's questions or comments with monosyllabic answers. Lance firmly pushes any intrusive thoughts out of his mind, and tries to ignore the soft sounds Keith makes as he works. He finally asked, just as the sun starts setting, if Lance minds if he takes the helmet off for a little while so he can try and clean up a bit. There's no real way for him to do that, and there's no reason for him to go outside, since there's still apparently nothing out there useful, but Lance understands wanting privacy, despite the buzz of anxious worry that's been under his skin all day that tells him to keep Keith on the line. 

Keith's been gone for an hour or so now, and there's no signs of his return. Lance watches the flashing light on the screen and tries to ignore the silhouettes of the aliens, still perched in the trees, still quietly watching. Blue still isn't talking either, so it's just Lance and his thoughts -- something he's been trying to avoid.

 _Fine,_  he thinks.

It's not like he doesn't know that he likes Keith. He's liked Keith since they were at the Garrison. Keith was this untouchable,  unstoppable force, the rising star of their class. He didn't flaunt his talent, had never even acknowledged that others were envious of his skills -- he'd just flown, the kind of flying that made your heart sing to watch. Lance had been jealous of Keith, but he'd never hated him, and getting to know him meant that it was obvious that they would like each other. Lance has never been the kind to hold onto grudges.

But this is _different_. It feels nothing like his camaraderie with Pidge and Hunk, or his admiration of Shiro.  Maybe it's because they hadn't been friends already, had barely been anything other than distant classmates; maybe it was because Keith always felt just beyond his grasp, just barely out of reach. Even after they'd become teammates, even after all of the bonding through training and battle. Even _now_ , with his voice a constant in Lance's ear for days, Keith is too far away. 

He pictures Keith, his dark eyes and stupid hair and long, slim legs; his hands, wrapped around a sword or around Red's controls. He thinks of the way Keith's mouth lifts unevenly when he smiles, and how his brows furrow when he's frustrated of confused. He thinks about the curious tilt of his head, or the way his voice had gone low and strange when he told Lance, _Red and I -- we're really a lot alike_. 

 _You care for him_ , a voice says.

Lance jerks awake, gasping. He hadn't realized that he'd fallen asleep, but his eyes are gritty and he's slumped in the pilot's chair. The sun has set, but there are still pinks and purples on the horizon, so he can't have been out for too long. He automatically reaches out for Blue, and she hums back at him, finally responsive -- she seems excited, pleased.

 _We have been talking_ , the voice says again, and this time Lance is _definitely_ awake, and it's more obvious that it isn't just one voice -- it's a layering of voices, all soft and echoey. There's no singular quality to them, like white noise made into words. He glances around the cockpit, fingers tight on his bayard, and then looks out to the treetops.

The aliens are still there, but now their eyes are glowing slightly in the darkness, and they look different; it's impossible to explain how, but they seem more interested, more alert. Lance swallows, grabbing Blue's controls with his free hand, and says, out loud, "Can someone please explain this shit to me?"

Blue laughs patiently at him. The voice doesn't seem amused, but it does seem warmer when it says, _You lion has been talking with us, but we could not communicate with you while your mind was closed. In sleep, you opened up, and we were able to create a foothold in your connection._

"Blue, what the fuck," Lance whispers furiously. "You let aliens get into my brain without telling me about it?" 

Blue sends back a comforting thought, and the aliens reply, _We have been discussing ways to help you leave, and we thought it best to speak to you directly_.

"Is this some hive mind shit?" Lance asks, "Because you guys didn't look like hive mind aliens before. You looked like fuzzy bird creatures. Fuck. You don't even know what a bird is. Why am I talking right now." He lets go of Blue's controls to cover his face with his hands. Keith still isn't on the comms, even though their connection is going strong. He looks at the flashing light again and his heart lurches.

 _You care for him_ deeply _,_  the aliens say pointedly, and he flushes.

"I'm not talking about this with you. My feelings are -- none of your business." 

 _Your unwillingness to communicate is keeping you from repairing your lion_. Their voices are firm, and he shudders as the echoes overwhelm him briefly, making his head ache. The noise retreats as Blue rumbles protectively, and then returns, muted and distant again. _We have no knowledge of your world or your robot, but we are excellent at_ connections _. You must connect properly if you want to figure out what her problem is_. 

"Blue and I connect just fine, thanks," Lance retorts, but --  he remembers guiltily that he hadn't known anything about her and Red, that he had deliberately pushed his own feelings out of her reach, that she comforted him and he wallowed in his own fear and longing, expecting her to make him feel better. 

He'd believed that because they'd bonded first, their connection was the strongest, that they understood each other better than anyone. It hurt to think that perhaps they really weren't as bonded as he thought. An ache lodges under his rib cage and grows as he considers how much of their relationship was built around Lance. Was he that self-absorbed? Was he really as cocky and selfish as people accused him of being?

He sends a thought to her now, tentative and apologetic, and she immediately embraces him warmly. He tries to express his regret, and she overwhelms him with a soft growl. She sends back her feelings: her acceptance, her knowledge that he's been so scared and alone and confused, and that she knows their bond is only new. She tells him that she trusts him, and that he can trust her, with everything. Images and emotions press against him, flashes of his family and Blue and the stars and the unspeakable beauty and complexity of their bond, until there are tears running down his cheeks. He presses his palm against her control panel and breathes in and out until they slow, wiping them off.

 _This is good_ , the aliens say. _She lets you in -- now you should let her in_. _Connect with her_. 

He wants to snap and say that he has been, that he's tried all along to talk to her, but the aliens press again, before he can even open his mouth. _Let her in, paladin. Open up_.

Blue's waiting patiently, not pushing. Lance takes a deep breath, in and out; he remembers Keith telling him to breathe along with him, and the thought catches in his mind. Keith. 

_Yes._

Lance can't tell who's saying that, if it's him or Blue or the aliens or something else, because apparently his brain is open for business now, but it doesn't seem to matter. The image of Keith in his mind hangs and then splits open into a rush of pictures -- Keith in his pilot's uniform, leaned over the controls and effortlessly weaving in and out of the obstacles of the test course -- Keith, bandana around his face, sneaking through the darkness, that instinctive jerk of Lance's heart when he'd recognized him after _months_  of nothing -- Keith slipping on his paladin's armor for the first time, a complicated expression on his face, soft around the edges but still unsure -- Keith, voice warm and familiar in his ear, saying _I'd be okay with meeting your family_. 

Blue meets him halfway, soothing over the jagged outpouring, filling his mind with memories of her own family, of Red, and Lance thinks -- 

_Of course._

He likes Keith. Of course, of course he likes Keith. He feels -- so stupid, oh my god, he's so _stupid_? It's not even that Keith is a boy, he just never -- it never occurred to him that Keith would be someone he could have feelings for like that, and now that they're hitting him it feels like the most obvious thing in the world. Keith is brave, and selfless, and he laughs like he's still getting used to it, and he throws himself into battles he can't hope to win because he wants to keep people safe. Lance gasps for air, lungs aching, wishing more than anything that he'd had this revelation before, when there was a chance he could actually _do_  something about it, instead of stuck stranded who knows how many miles apart. 

 _I want to see him_. 

Blue wraps tightly around him, a warm presence, guiding him, and the aliens whisper _Just open up_  and he feels himself shivering inside of his skin, reeling through images of things he's seen and dreamt and never even imagined, things Blue has seen and dreamt and never even imagined, and something in him unfolds and he's

 _oh_.

 

* * *

 

When he comes to, the aliens are gone, and night has well and truly fallen, and he knows, without a shadow of a doubt, how to fix what's wrong with Blue. His mind buzzes, and his mouth is dry and sticky and he thinks he wants to sleep for a solid week, but he scrambles up out of his seat, pushing through the doorway to get to her machinery. 

"Keith?" he shouts, nearly slamming into a wall in his haste, "Keith, are you there? I figured it out, I know what's wrong, I'm gonna fix Blue and come and --"

"No," Keith says firmly. Lance jerks to a stop, frowning at the weird tone in Keith's voice. 

"No?" he asks, disbelieving. His heart starts to sink, registering that something is wrong.

"Lance," Keith says, and his voice is strained, "I've just -- Red is saying there's a Galra ship locked onto my position. It's gonna be here in about an hour. You should just -- I can't let it find you. I can't let you get hurt too. Red and I are -- we'll be --"

"No," Lance whispers, and then, louder, "No! What the fuck are you -- are you kidding me? No, there's no way, I can fix her and come and save you, and it'll be fine, Keith, I have to--"

"I'm going to cut off the connection so they can't find you. You'll be fine, Lance. All of you. You said it yourself -- I'm not the first Red Paladin, I won't be the last. You'll be fine." Keith's voice is still thin, but he's using that confident tone that he has, that _I was the best pilot in our class_  voice, that _I'm not scared_  voice. 

"Keith, no, no, you can't -- I have to tell you, I was gonna tell you --" He can't breathe, can't force the words out; this wasn't how he wanted to do this, this isn't how this was supposed to go. He was going to find Keith again, and save him, and try to hold his hand again, work his way up to telling him how pretty his eyes were. This was some kind of fucked up terrible nightmare. Lance can feel his blood running cold through his veins, his pulse tripping uneven.

"Hey," Keith says softly, "Me too." 

He huffs out a laugh, that soft little laugh that Lance has heard so many times over the last few days, and Lance opens his mouth to say something, _anything_ , and then the there's a sharp blip as the connection cuts out. 

"Keith?" Lance chokes. "Keith?"

There's no reply. Blue's mind is as chaotic as his, and they shake together for a moment, thoughts reeling in a painful feedback loop until Lance registers his knees hitting the ground. He sucks in a breath, forcing himself to calm down.

"We have to -- we have to, Blue, we have to save them, we have to--"

He gets to his feet, stumbling, and continues running, Blue guiding his way when he almost takes a wrong turn. The problem, the thing that's been keeping them here, unbelievably, is a blown circuit tucked into a small control panel; he pulls the panel out with trembling fingers and settles in to fix it, reminding himself that he and Blue have beaten worse odds than this.

It takes him longer than he expects, finding a new circuit that he can salvage and removing the old one. It's painstaking, removing panels and looking for something nonessential he can pull from, and he has to discard several that look like they'll fit but don't. He has to stop several times because his hand is shaking from frustration, which only makes him more upset, but Blue pulls him back every time, focusing him again.

When he slides the panel closed again, he can feel the difference immediately. Blue feels _right_ , and she's already moving into position for take off before he's even running back to the cockpit. As he flings himself into his chair, he looks at the screen where Keith's light has been flashing the last few days, except there's nothing there. He remembers the coordinates easily after days of looking at them, but it _hurts_ to see Keith's signal gone.

His hands fit over the controls, and Blue growls as he pulls up; she lifts off as smoothly as if she'd never been broken, and he turns her towards the sky, willing himself to not be too late.

 

* * *

 

He's not late. 

He's just in time to spy the ship lining up a shot on the Red Lion, laying on her side on ground, surrounded by a swirling mist. She looks painfully vulnerable like that, unarmed and limp, and his heart nearly stops at the whine of the lasers starting up. He doesn't take the time to charge up his own lasers, just rams into the ship as hard as he can, baring his teeth when Blue's snarl echoes through the connection. The shot goes wide, shattering an outcropping just behind Red, and Lance pushes the thrusters forward to dig Blue's claws into the side of the ship. Thankfully it looks like the only ship around, but it's large enough that it takes all of his concentration and energy to stop it.

"Okay," he mutters to Blue. "Let's do this."

Blue takes a few strong hits, but she manages to freeze the ion cannon on top of the ship in place, and from there it's easy to smash the ship to pieces. He watches it crash to the desert floor, waiting for a moment to make sure it's down. He runs a quick scan, but it does look like the ship has acted on its own, and Blue scarcely waits a second until the scan is done before she's zipping to the ground, and Lance lets her take over as he hurries to the exit, feet pounding on the floor.

His helmet seals as he runs outside, but the fog seems harmless, so he ignores it and heads towards the Red Lion. She's laying on her side a little ways away from where Blue lands, definitely looking worse for wear, but her mouth is already open and he impatiently pushes his way inside, registering Red's surprise as soon as he steps inside. 

"Keith?" he shouts, heading for the cockpit. "Keith, you asshole--"

"Lance?"

Lance hurtles around the corner just as Keith is standing up out of his seat, and he barely takes a second to acknowledge the swell of relief that nearly staggers him before he's slamming into Keith. 

"Ouch, Lance," Keith grunts, hands coming up to Lance's shoulders automatically. He's not wearing his helmet or his armor, and his hair is pulled back in a short ponytail, out of his face. His eyes are ringed with shadows and he's got smudges of grease and dirt all over his cheeks, and he's so pretty Lance kind of feels like laughing about it, because of course, of _course_  he likes Keith. How had he never seen it? "What are you doing here?"

Lance lets go of Keith briefly, pulling off his own helmet, tossing it aside carelessly. It clatters to the ground loudly, and Keith makes a small noise -- his eyes are wide, and they're dark but they're a deep color, some sort of violet blue color. Lance tries to commit their color to his mind, tries to absorb every facet of Keith's face as it flushes pink under his gaze. 

"Lance?" Keith says quietly. His voice is so, so good to hear in person. Lance wants to hear it every day for the rest of his life. 

"I have something to tell you," Lance says, reaching up to cup Keith's face in his hands. Keith's face goes entirely scarlet, and his breath hitches. 

"Lance, you don't have to -- just because I have feelings--" Keith stammers, trying to pull away, which is so stupid, now that Lance has him in his arms, so Lance tightens his grip and pulls Keith's face up to his, and kisses him.

It's not a great kiss, to be honest. Keith's open mouth means Lance lands kind of awkwardly, and their teeth bump a little, but Lance isn't one to give up easily, and he tilts his head, gently turning Keith in kind, until their mouths slot together better, sliding against each other. Keith goes still and then seems to erupt in his grasp, tightening his fingers around Lance's shoulders and surging up onto his toes to press more firmly against him. The kiss goes hot and sweet, and Lance's head spins a little with how _good_  it feels to be pressed up against him, to taste him. 

When they pull apart he's pretty sure his face is as red as Keith's, and he's somewhat out of breath. Keith looks dazed, and his mouth is pink, and Lance touches his lower lip before he really thinks about what he's doing, and then pulls away when Keith's eyes go wide.

Lance takes a deep breath, and then lets it out. No more secrets. "I like you," he says. "I wanted you to know that." 

Keith bites his lip, then ducks his head to hide the smile curling at the edge of his mouth. He looks like he's _glowing_ , and Lance's heart soars at being the one to put that expression on his face. "Okay," he says.

Lance blinks, and then snorts out a laugh. "Okay?" he asks, pulling Keith in close again, using a finger to lift Keith's chin up again. He adopts a faux-offended tone. "Okay? I fly across a solar system to save you, I had to commune with a bunch of mind-linked furby aliens--"

"I already said 'me too', Lance," Keith interrupts, rolling his eyes, and then prevents Lance from protesting further by pushing up onto his toes to kiss him again.

 _I can't let him get away with this all the time_ , Lance thinks, but he decides to tell Keith that later. They still have to figure out how to repair Red, how to find the others, how to stop Zarkon. There's a thousand things that should probably be taking precedence to this moment, but Keith hums into the kiss, a soft musical sound, and Lance decides it can wait another half hour or so. 

They'll have time for everything, if he has any say about it.

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. the song Keith is humming along to is Ariana Grande's song, "Into You."  
> 2\. the aliens are not actually like furbys at all, Lance is terrible at describing things.  
> 3\. I am never writing anything this long ever again, holy shit.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! I can be found at my [tumblr.](http://apvrrish.tumblr.com) Also I'm trying to use my twitter again, find me [@apvrrish](http://twitter.com/apvrrish).


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